When people ask you your name, do you automatically respond with your canine’s name rather than your own?
When you say you love to spoon, are you referring to your Bernese Mountain Dog rather than your significant other?
If someone asks, “how are you?” is your reflex to say, “he’s good, just had a good walk!” in reference to your Golden Retriever, rather than yourself?
Do you have a completely different language and voice when talking to your canine, that accidentally passes over to a conversation with your neighbor in the elevator?
Do you find yourself and other dog-owners gossiping about the ongoings of the neighborhood dog-walkers?
Does your dog-walker regularly send you photo-albums of his or her walk, when you’re re-uniting with your dog in just one hour?
Do you cater to your dog-walker and his or her needs, more than you cater to those of your boss or your spouse?
Do you ever feel it would be embarrassing if people walked in on you and your dog when you’re alone together?
Do photos and videos of your canine take up 93.7% of your iCloud space?
Did you have to upgrade your iCloud storage plan due to your chronicling of your dog?
Do you and your dog stare into each other’s eyes for uncomfortably long periods of time when you rub their belly?
Do you find yourself stating that your dog is cuter than all other dogs, and that even though everyone says that about their dogs, in your case it’s actually true?
Do you often find yourself forgoing social plans with other human beings in order to stay home and snuggle with your canine on the couch?
Is that said night your version of the perfect Saturday evening?
Do you have a very passionate expression on your face when embracing your dog?
Have you cancelled a second date because the other person said something like, “it’s not that I don’t like dogs, they’re fine” on the first date?
Is the circumference of your dog’s pillow equal to or greater than that of the lifeboats in the movie Titanic?
Does handing your dog over to a vet or groomer feel a bit like Sophie’s Choice?
Do you find yourself constantly bringing up your canine in conversations that have absolutely nothing to do with them?
Do you find yourself wondering how you could love a future child as much as you love your dog?
Do you use petting your dog as an excuse to opt out of political conversations at the dinner table?
Are your television, movie or music choices at all affected by what you perceive as the preferences of your canine?
If you have experienced any number of these symptoms, please comment to us below. Most importantly, know you are not alone.