The moment I got home for Thanksgiving last week, I practically sprinted to the living room, turned on White Christmas and curled up with a cashmere throw and a mug of hot chocolate. There really wasn’t any specific rhyme or reason for it, but I think whatever the reasoning is, it goes hand in hand with watching Love Actually at every possible point in December, or going to a musical this month that I wouldn’t necessarily attend during any other month of the year. There are swifties, directioners, Gaga’s Little Monsters, and the recent rebirth of the army of beliebers…but I pride myself on being what I like to think of as a holiday-overachiever.
Let’s define the term: A holiday-overachiever is an individual who – for the duration of time usually spanning November 1st to January 1st – is completely, and utterly obsessed with soaking up, exercising and overdoing any and every holiday cliché.
The holiday-overachiever experiences a sort of frenzy at the start of November. They fail to realize that these annual holidays are by nature – annual – thus forgetting they’ll come around every year. Whether it’s November 2nd or the eve of December 31st, they’re unable to grasp that it’s never their last chance to soak up all things holiday. Events like Christmas morning or lighting the menorah or watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade are all approached with the same vigor as a person on death row’s last meal. This mere fact can usually lead to feelings of depression and hopelessness as well as questions about the meaning of life come January 2nd.
So, just like being a Selenator or a member of Twilight’s Team Jacob, being a holiday-overachiever takes will, persistence, and an ability to tune out the noise around you. You are chastised for wanting to brave fifth avenue and grin at the throngs of tourists visiting New York City and stand in front of department store windows. People think you’re crazy when you express horror at the thought of going somewhere with warm weather over Christmas, and when you scream “Wait go back!” when your friends change the channel during Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga singing Santa Baby in the Barnes and Noble commercial, looks of disbelief may befall you.
Love is blind, and that goes for your love for all things holiday. Your friends don’t know you can’t comprehend the fact that holiday windows will be there at the same time next year, or that snow happens every winter (so going to Mexico this Christmas doesn’t mean you’ll never see snow on Christmas again), or that you can play the Gaga commercial on YouTube as many times as you’d like. You’re a holiday-overachiever, and that means never having to say you’re sorry for getting Starbucks – not for the beverage – but for the red cup (a debate you’ve followed more closely than the presidential campaign).
So if you’re in love with all things holiday as much as I am, continue to be a holiday-overachiever and appreciate the fact that there is now a term for it. Overdose on A Christmas Carol (both the Muppet and George C. Scott versions), have a party to watch the tree lighting on NBC, throw and attend an ugly sweater party, and buy sequined everything even though this is the only month of the year you’ll wear it. Raise a glass of eggnog to overdoing all things holiday, because it’s your last chance to…except for ten months from now, when the holidays roll around again (at least that’s what they tell me will happen in my January recovery sessions).
Love, your truest holiday-overachiever
– Laura Kosann