Who Was Your Lunchroom Bully?

Ah, the school lunch room. It can be a nasty place, both in real life and in our favorite forms of entertainment. For Doug Funnie in Doug it was Roger Klotz roaming the tables, calling him names and – worst of all – trying to make him look stupid in front of Patti Mayonnaise. For Mcfly in Back To the Future it was Biff twisting his arm and – let’s face it – being the modern day definition of a sexual predator. For Cady Heron in Mean Girls it was Regina George saying passive aggressive remarks like “I love that bracelet, where’d you get it?” when she like, so didn’t love that bracelet. For Harry Potter, it was Draco Malfoy teasing him about his scar, and calling his best friend a ‘mudblood’ – a highly politically incorrect term in the wizarding world (for those unfamiliar).

It’s easier said than done, but as an adult you learn that bullies weren’t worth the time (we promise). I mean, Roger had a perpetually green face (enough said), Biff’s ‘look’ is super out in a world where skinny jeans are the new jock jackets, Regina George got hit by a bus, and Draco Malfoy came around in the end. One thing we’ve been noticing lately is this: The new lunch-room is Twitter.

It’s no surprise that many can be harsh on the platform. While people seem to get mad at a mean remark on Twitter, they respond by – well – making more mean remarks. Food flying, and face-to-face teasing’s modern day equivalents are 140-character negative comments protected by an anonymous handle and a computer screen. But if we can shrug off the lunch room bully, why can’t we shrug off the digital one? The point is we can. We thought we’d cook up 10 tweets from 10 notorious bullies that we’re here to debunk – hopefully making someone out there realize that the tweet they’re upset about is just as valid as Miss Trunchbull commenting on Matilda’s hair. I mean seriously – what’s wrong with that picture?

1. Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter


Okay, well Emma Watson is now the global goodwill UN Ambassador, and no need to even dignify the hashtag.


2. O’Doyle, Billy Madison


We all know what happened to the O’Doyles…it involved a car, a banana and a cliff. Don’t text and drive? Don’t chant and drive.


3. Regina George, Mean Girls


You’ve just described our ideal man Regina.


4. Biff, Back to the Future


Seriously, we just saw this guy on Dateline last week.


5. Miss Trunchbull, Matilda


Not sure any of us should take style advice from Trunchbull. No one puts baby in the corner? No one puts Matilda in the chokey.


6. Saleswoman, Pretty Woman


We were just about to go to the e-commerce destination. That tweet was a big mistake, huge.


7. Helga Pataki, Hey Arnold


We all know Helga actually had a crazy crush on Arnold, with a shrine to him in her bedroom. Our Mom always told us if a guy teased us he liked us…and we’re sticking to it come hell or high water.


8. Jim, Edward Scissorhands


Um, not Wynona Ryder apparently, and Jim if we remember correctly, you were the underdog once too. #80sforever


9. A, Pretty Little Liars


It takes courage to show who you actually are, and – like – share your first name…


10. Sue Sylvester, Glee


We all know Sue secretly wanted to be in Glee Club, and Will is, well, the gorgeous Matthew Morrison.

– Laura Kosann