We’ve all been there. October 31st rolls around and while we all try to pretend we’re excited for booze-filled Halloween parties, and costumes that are not so much costumes but rather expressions of our feelings about pop culture, we’re really feeling nostalgic about Trick or Treating. You may call us crazy, but let’s not pretend that there’s not a voice in your deepest subconscious each year reminding you of kids showing up on doorsteps being plied with free candy. It wouldn’t be appropriate to do that anymore would it? In fact, I believe going trick or treating as an adult would be much like entering a playground without a child accompanying you…it’s just not socially feasible.
The only way around this rule is to have kids, then join them as their “chaperones,” and “confiscate” their candy later. But what about those of us in that awkward 21-35 year range that have been deprived of free candy for years now? Is there no solution? Tonight when I walk in the West Village, rather than going door to door predicting when the next Three Musketeer Bar is coming my way, I’ll be getting trampled by a slew of drunken Mileys, Walter Whites, Robin Thickes-with-mileys-attached-to-them, and of course some Twilight-esque vampires because that never goes out of style. So again I ask, why is there a cutoff when it comes to Trick or Treating? Just thought I’d put the question out there, and in the event that we do cut some slack on the “age appropriateness” this year, I like sour patch watermelon…
P.S. Cronuts do not count as “treats.”
– Laura Kosann